Please do not murder the newcomers, no matter how good of a resolution it may seem. Otherwise, there might be a news article titled “man murdered by international conspiracy of Wikipedia editors” published in national news soon afterwards. Members of the Supreme Cabal Regime of the English Wikipedia (S.C.R.E.W.) do not want such bad press (press of any type on The Cabal is seriously discouraged). What’s worse for you is that the Arbitration Committee will impose topic bans from murder, broadly construed, on you. So do not murder the newcomers.
WP:NPA applies in this common situation, since it is a personal matter.
Alternatives
- Playing Minecraft or Among Us
- Voodoo dolls (TODO: remove if Voodoo dolls affect the real world)
- Intense dispute resolution via WP:HAPPYPLACE
- Murder everyone because anybody who joined after Jimbo Wales is a newcomer
- Or you can just ignore this article completely and murder them anyway. I’d stop you, but honestly it’s too much work.
Resisting the urge to murder
You can take additional steps to prevent these common urges to squeeze the life out of newcomers who annoy us. The first step is to carefully but casually analyze the other user’s contributions for issues, out of the kindness of your cold, cold heart. Therapy is a thing, but might not take the cabal’s insurance plan. YMMV.